The Morning After. The Missing Words

So I woke up this morning to e-mails from Jannel indicating she spent another lack of sleep night pouring over the details of all of this. Her e-mails(YES.more the one...time stamped 12:30am) were lists of things she need me to "have done already". Yesterday I spent about 10 hours researching, working, e-mailing and calling radio stations in the areas Clementine will be performing all along the tour. At some point Jannel walked into the room late in the afternoon, heard the radio on and exclaimed "Is that all you have been doing all day, watching a webcast?"

I worked in the distribution end of the music biz for many years back when I had a POMPADOUR muti colored styled hairdo (actually, it was more of a HAIR DON'T). The owner of the company was such a tyrant that to this day I will have dreams I have gone back to work for him and he is terrorizing his "MAGGOTS". He was fond of getting on the speaker system that boomed throughout the office building and giving motivational speeches:

"Attention all maggots. I want to thank the kind person who was kind enough to leave a urine sample in the bathroom in the warehouse. I am sure your fellow employees appreciate it, I know I appreciate the little gift you left for us...."

He was famous for walking in at the exact time I was having a casual conversation after completing work tasks, the EXACT MOMENT I IN FACT WAS NOT WORKING ON HIS BUSINESS and giving an infamous motivational speech:
"If you've got nothing to do perhaps I can find you something to occupy your time MAGGOT".

The strain of supporting Jannel and her workaholic tendency to get the band on the road and pay the ever increasing debts is formitable. Jannel communicates her emotional conflict. She wrote what I can only describe as a bare to the bone, gutwrenchingly honest expose in her book. I think the book is just shy of a masterpiece because of its articulate wisdom and wllingness on the part of Jannel to reveal herself so honestly. I have read few "motivational books"in which the author was so willing to expose what exists beneath the mask. So she communicates the burden and the struggle that has become her "lifes work", in songs, in books and now...in BLOGS.

For me, the primary thing I would be doing is building the band and all things surrounding it, but most moments it is the last thing I feel I should be doing with pressing financial challenges. So now I will ONE UP Jannel and use the BLOG to pinge and purge the emotional strain.

Except I am at a loss for words....

JW