Monday, November 12, 2007

Real Men in the Kitchen

I was not aware that Jannel posted a new BLOG and that she placed me in the kitchen as the "Clean Up Crew".

Now let's be clear...the kitchen is a manly place to be. Real men spend massive quantities of time in the kitchen. I lift weights in the kitchen. It is a well known fact that in nature the alpha male of the pack prefers to fight any upstart male pack members in the kitchen.

The kitchen is a place of virility and power. I keep my testosterone in the refrigerator next to the Soy Milk and Tofu.

And for the record, real men drink soy milk. I am smoking a cigar and enjoying a pint of soy milk right now. And where am I doing this most masculine of all activities?


Which is why I cleaned up the kitchen after the tour. It is a man's job that could not be left to the frailer band members, Jannel and Dana. Well, Dana took one look at the mess and left for Mexico. What she doesn't know is that I stole her green card so she won't be coming back to America any time soon. Good thing I actually know all the lyrics to "Stranded". (some nights Dana almost sings all the lyrics correctly).

We are back from tour and our kitchen is in order just like the marines trained me. Did I tell you about the marines? I wasn't actually a marine but my uncle was and he once cleaned our kitchen on leave from Vietnam.

Need a say more?

If you want a ticket to the gun show look no further then the drummer from Clementine in his apron lifting 2 heavy oven mitts. A portrait of raw masculinity.

Jeffrey Wayne